"Written for Girls" Part 13——Part 4: What should you do? 3. How to adapt to an extraordinary husband

Part 4 What should you do?

2. How to adapt to an extraordinary husband

Being the wife of a movie star is not that simple, you must first be the best "behind the scenes worker".

I know a woman who forced her husband to give up his beloved job because she couldn't stand him working at night. The husband is a well-known orchestral musician. Most of their concerts are held in the evening. This man loves his job and he also gets a very high salary.

But his wife has never been able to adapt to his working hours. Finally, she persuaded her husband to give up his position in the orchestra and change his job selling household products. He was doing a job that was completely unsuitable for her, and he was making less money. He was not satisfied. Not only were his chances of success diminished, but the couple's chances of marital happiness became very slim.

Men who have to work unusual hours, or who have special needs at work, are even more in need of a wife who can adapt. Taxi drivers, railway or ship workers, pilots' wives... all occupations that require certain special adaptations, these wives must be able to adapt in order to maintain a happy marriage.

Many famous entertainers have experienced marriage breakdown because their wives were unable or unwilling to accept that their husbands were successful in that industry.

The most important concept that wives of men with special professional circumstances need to have is that they cannot have everything. They must be honest about these circumstances, accept them, and find ways to live happily within the constraints of a family-sustaining job.

Many women envy the wives of men who are prominent in so-called "glamorous" professional circles - such as movie stars, opera singers, writers, or musicians. When I was sixteen years old, I dreamed of marrying a famous explorer. However, few of us had ever stopped to think about it. As a wife of such a man, in addition to wearing new clothes designed by famous designers, and being in the house In addition to putting on a smiling face in front of the camera, you also need to have more burdens.

Mrs. Lowe Thomas can tell you it's not that simple. Internationally, few women are more famous than their husbands, whose deeds are as fascinating and colorful as the stories in Arabian Nights. Seasoned newscaster, explorer, speculator, author, university lecturer, and sportsman, Lowe Thomas spent as much time at home in the wilds of the Himalayas as he did in front of a newsreel camera. .

Frances Thomas was his wife, a woman of great talent and charm, capable of changing herself to suit her husband's needs with the versatility of a chameleon. After the First World War, she followed her husband around the world. At that time, her husband was lecturing on "Lawrence of Arabia" and "Allenby's Campaign in Palestine" and she also did a lot of things for Composing music for Muslim prayers, and acting as an assistant manager on tours.

After returning to the United States and settling in their country home, France Thomas became one of the busiest hostesses in the country. She kept busy entertaining the many characters who appeared in her husband's books, including explorers, progressive aviators, lucky soldiers, and many other outstanding characters who came to visit her. Weekends at Thomas' home were often lively with fifty to two hundred guests attending banquets.

While her husband was away on an expedition, Frances Thomas had to endure many anxious moments. For example, after World War I and during the German Revolution, she heard from a newspaper office that her husband had been fatally injured while covering a street battle. Or in 1926, Lowe Thomas's plane crashed in the desert of Andalbesia, Spain, and Frances could only wait for the news in Paris.

Not long ago, Lowe Thomas was seriously injured while passing through a mountainous area in Tibet. He was carried on the shoulders of local natives for more than 20 days before finally leaving the Himalayas. During all those days of mental torture, Frances Thomas received no news except that her husband had been seriously injured. Can you or I endure this painful experience?

In recent years, Lowe Thomas' only son, Lowe Thomas Jr., has followed in his father's footsteps of exploration. So Mrs. Thomas had to wait to hear news of her son's expedition—at the French outpost near Thibodeau, in Kenya, where the Mau Mau uprising was at its climax.

Do you still find it relaxing and enjoyable to be the wife of an exciting man like Lowe Thomas? A brief statistic of the troubles of these examples will tell you that only an extraordinary woman can afford an extraordinary husband.

When you crowded in the crowd to watch the parade, have you ever thought about changing places with the governor's wives, holding hands full of roses and sitting in the car driving past the envious crowd?

According to Mrs. Sylde McCaidin, wife of the Maryland governor, her position was also very difficult and uncomfortable. Mrs. McCaidin was the perfect wife for her active, vigorous husband: she was quiet, gentle, graceful, and possessed all the feminine qualities. She once told me that her whole life had changed since her family moved into the Governor's Mansion. Governor McCaidin gets up early and goes to bed late. He was busy dealing with official matters all day long. He was so busy with important official duties that even his wife rarely saw him. Mrs. McCaidin explained that she could only relieve these troubles when she accompanied her husband on trips or when he gave lectures out of town. “We found that we had more fun together on those trips than we would as a couple spending a lot of time together at home. It was like an exciting vacation, sharing every wonderful thing that happened on our trip. Experience, travel makes those experiences more valuable and more memorable.”

Men like Lowe Thomas and Governor McCaidin were lucky enough to have wives who not only brought them glory but also endured the inconveniences that fame and status bring.

If your husband's job is unusual and inconvenient, you can try to apply the following principles:

1. If this situation is only temporary, just smile and be patient. Everyone can tolerate anything in a short period of time.

2. If the situation is permanent, accept it and try to improve it—just like Mrs. McCaidin.

3. Remind yourself to remember: your husband’s success is also your success. If this kind of work is necessary for his success, it's up to you to accept the situation.

(Also, did you know that if you leave your husband because you don’t like his job, that constitutes legal desertion. But more importantly, in human terms, this fact represents a kind of love. missing.)

4. You must remember that there has never been, and there will never be, a job in this world that is completely filled with happiness. Every lifestyle has its advantages and disadvantages. People who constantly complain about the shortcomings in their lives will never be satisfied even with the most ideal circumstances.

(To be continued)