"Written to Girls" Thirteen——Part Four What Should You Do 5. Does your profession conflict with him?

Helping her husband succeed and giving him happiness is a woman’s most valuable “lifelong career”.

If you have a job or career that would benefit your husband, would you be willing to give it up? If not, you have read the wrong book. You must be interested in your own success, not in helping your husband succeed. Helping your husband succeed is a professional job in itself. You cannot help your husband unless you believe that helping him is something that is so important that you must devote your full attention to it.

The following is a true story of a fascinating girl who thought her career was more important, until something changed her mind. Beautiful, blue-eyed and blonde, Caitai Wells, the wife of the famous explorer Kavesh Wells, already had a very fascinating career when she met her future husband. Caitai was a successful radio and speech agent, and she enjoyed the contact with many celebrities in her business. Kavesh Wells also met her through business relations. Kavesh Wells fell in love with her and married her. According to Caitai's conditions, she could continue to do the work that fascinated her and be free and independent.

The wedding was in March. In June, Kavesh Wells was leaving for Russia and Turkey to climb Mount Ararat. Caitai had hoped to stay home to work, but when the time came, she couldn't even stay alone. "Just this once, I'll go with you," she said. So they set out on their adventure, a nightmare of hardship and frustration - although the adventure led to Kavesh's best-selling book, "Kaput."

When Caitai returned to her job, she found that these jobs were too boring compared to the adventure experience. She had shared the experience of life and death with Kavesh. So a year and a half later, she went to Mexico with Kavesh to climb Mount Papakatibetel. This was another rigorous physical test. Caitai spent most of her time in cold, hunger, fatigue and ignorant fear. But she was also very excited.

The icy wind from that mountain peak blew away the last vestiges of Caitai's insistence on doing things independently. She realized that being the wife of Kavesh Wells was more valuable than any degree of success she could have achieved in her own work. When they returned from Mexico, Caitai closed her office. She now had time to follow her husband to the farthest ends of the earth, and that is exactly what she did. The jungles of the Malay Peninsula, Africa, Japan, Iceland, the Kashmir Valley - the Wells couple's life was like a travelogue in Technicolor.

Caitai Wells said: "At that time, I thought it was important to have my own business, and I wondered how I could be so childish. Compared with the rich experience I shared with Kavesh, my own life was so boring and small. I merged my interests with his, shared his triumphs and successes, and when disappointments and troubles came, we faced them together.

"I think the greatest compliment I have ever received is the dedication that Kavesh wrote to me in his book, Kaput: 'To my best friend, my wife, Caitai. No one has ever praised me in a way that makes me feel so successful and satisfied as my husband's dedication of love to me."

Traci Wells's change of heart came under dramatic circumstances, but Traci is a typical example of a woman who finds that promoting the happiness and best interests of the husbands they love is the most rewarding career for any woman.

I do not neglect the many wives and mothers who, because of circumstances, have been forced to leave the home to work. I pay them tribute with the deepest respect. I believe that women should be able to earn their own living by their own efforts, because life is unpredictable, and none of us can predict when we may become the breadwinner, responsible for the family's food, rent, and clothing. Illness, death, unemployment, and disaster can ruin the best-laid plans.

But, as we are discussing various ways in which a wife can help her husband succeed, we must not forget that helping a husband is a big job, a job in itself large enough to require the wife's full attention. A wife who responsibly places her efforts in her career will not have additional abilities to serve her husband. Of course, there are exceptions to everything, but observation and experience have convinced me that a husband and a marriage have a greater chance of success if the goals and interests of the couple are aligned.

So, the next important principle to accept is this: if your work and your husband's happiness conflict with the highest good, you'd better be willing to give up your career.