Part 1: The first step to success - helping him decide his future direction

Part One: The First Step to Success

——Help him decide his future direction

Falling in love is not about looking at each other - it's about looking in the same direction.

In 1910, two young men shared a tenement boarding house in New York City. One of them was Dale Carnegie, an unworldly visionary from Missouri's corn country who studied at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. The other one was a kid from rural Massachusetts named Whitney.

Dale told me that Whitney came from a farming family. The only difference between him and other poor country kids was that he was determined to become the boss of a big company.

Whitney's first job in the city was as a retail clerk for a large food chain. Eager to learn more about the business, he used his lunch break to work in the wholesale department. Although he could not get others' thanks or extra salary for doing this, when a better job became vacant, the boss thought of Whitney and left the job to him.

Promoted from retail clerk to salesperson, then department head, regional manager. As the years passed, Whitney gradually climbed up. He will inevitably have disappointments and frustrations. After serving a certain company for many years, he feels that he has reached the end because the president has too many relatives in the company. At another company, he discovered that promotions were based on seniority—and he knew that he would never be a decision-making senior employee until his death. But he never lost sight of his goal. When he became the president of "Tiezi Packaging Company", he finally achieved his goal. Later, he founded the "Blue Moon Cheese Company".

This country boy once said to his roommate in that disgusting kitchenless apartment, "One day I will become the president of a big company." This sentence was not just wishful thinking. He was affirming his inner beliefs and setting a goal for himself. Direction to inspire every action in life.

Why did the Whitney succeed with a bang while so many others failed? He works hard - but so do others. He only studied on his own during his spare time at work, so academic qualifications were not the answer to the problem. The important key is that he knows his direction. When he works overtime, when he changes jobs, when he learns new techniques in the business - everything he does is for a purpose.

Aimlessness is the mantra of those who cannot succeed. They look for a job in a daze - get married in a daze - they waste time, hesitantly hoping that things will change, but they lack clear desires and ideals in their hearts. •

The New Winston Hotel in New York City has established a "Job Change Diagnostic Office". The founder and director, Ann Hayward, specializes in providing reference advice for people who are dissatisfied with their jobs. I spent several afternoons discussing unemployment with Ms. An. She told me that the main problem with most people who come to us for help is that they don’t know what they want. The first thing she did was to help them clarify their hopes and ambitions.

What a wife can do to help her husband is to help her husband figure out what he desires in life, and then she can work carefully with him to realize those ideals.

Seymour and Isaaclin, co-authors of "The Marriage Guide," believe that a happy marriage requires shared ideals. It doesn't matter what the ideal is, a new house, a trip to Europe, or a big family - sharing an ideal together is what matters.

“The main thing,” they say, “is to have hope for the moment and then do everything in your power to make it happen. Happiness, interest, and participation come from ideas, fantasies, and hopes, from shared triumphs and disappointments, successes and failures. Got it.”

The success of William Graham and his wife in Kansas in 1953 was based on this principle. In Waikita, the "William Graham Oil Company" is a company that is gradually gaining attention, and its director, William Graham, is the main contributor. Before he passed the age of fifty, he could already earn considerable net profits from oil operations and investments. As a result, Graham and his wife, Marelli, had many enviable achievements: six children, healthy, wealthy, and beautiful. A nice home, a profitable career - all these they can still enjoy in the years to come.

I have known William Graham for many years, and when I asked him about his greatest success factor, he replied, "Long-term planning and coordination of operations."

Not long after the couple got married, they started the real estate business, introducing house sales and collecting commissions. There is no backup but the belief in success and hard work. Their office was located at the end of an abandoned passageway in an office building. Marilee was responsible for liaison here, and William went around to do business. Business progress was slow at first, and the young couple often had to plan carefully, otherwise the family would go hungry.

When the business took a turn for the better, they spent their own money to buy a house and then sold it out for a fortune. Then they started building their own houses. Because the business situation was so good, William thought he should join some new industries to prevent him from rotting away.

After several family discussions, the couple felt that the oil business was best for William. Because he longs for the opportunities and challenges of business growth and change. This was the situation that gave rise to the William Graham Oil Company, which has been a very successful company.

Currently William is hoping to overcome the new world. He and Marilee are considering the feasibility of investing abroad. Once they make a decision, they make it happen.

When the Grahams made plans and chose goals for themselves, they always took into account William's training, tendencies, and temperament. Marilee said that once William realizes a plan, he must immediately find another challenging problem to avoid losing the joy of life. With this idea in mind, they established another way of satisfying life.

The success of the Grahams is a good example of a person who makes plans, implements them, and achieves his goals. No one can hit the bullseye of success without taking aim. Even if we are a little off, at least we will be closer to the target than if we close our eyes and shoot blindly.

"Confusion," said the late Dean Herbert Hodges, a distinguished professor at Columbia University, "is a major cause of worry."

Confusion isn’t just a major cause of worry—it’s one of the biggest stumbling blocks to success. Therefore, the first step to help your husband get ahead is to encourage him to find a focus for his life and set a goal. What does success mean to your husband and you? Does it mean wealth? Fame? sense of security? that power? To serve the public? A satisfying job?

These are some questions you and your husband should answer. Because success means different things to different people. Find out what success means to you and determine your life's purpose.

A wife should clearly understand her husband's goals if she is to help him achieve those goals. Unfortunately, there are many examples where both parties were ready to start construction, only to find that they were going in opposite directions.

If your husband knows his ambitions, don't think that is enough. You should also join in his long-term plan.

"Being in love is not about looking at each other - it's about looking in the same direction." I don't know who said this, but it is indeed the best advice for aspiring couples.

The first step to success is: "Help your husband decide his direction."